Do you know how many times in my life the world was ending? Well I can tell you it was more than I could count. I was always wrestling with problems. Everything was permanent. If rent was late, it was never gonna get paid, thus my family and I would be permanently homeless. If I crashed my car, I would never get a new one and I would be walking permanently. If she and I got in a fight, and we broke up…I would be permanently alone. I made the choice to walk away from my son, and I was certain I would only be able to visit with him at best, permanently. And that loneliness, the emptiness, desperation, pain, anxiety, and hopelessness associated with that type of thinking would have remained present in my head permanently had I not found a solution. A permanent solution.
There is only One Solution that I have found any permanence in. Only One Option. There is One Force that promises me happiness, peace, love and permanence without ever causing harm to myself and those around me, and that is G-d.
With this new found solution in my heart, directing my thinking and blessing me with whatever I need, I can have a purpose. Along with that comes an understanding that there are really no big deals. The thought that the world is crashing on my shoulders hasn’t been with me since I have let G-d be with me. I have had many hardships, many hurdles to overcome. And I am pleased to report that I did, with His help. I am also pleased to report that I can continue to do so provided that I stay close to Him. Oh, and some more good news, you can too. My son can too. You can have a purpose, just as I do.
My job is not my career, but I am hopeful that if and when I am supposed to go elsewhere, an opportunity will present itself. I am without a partner, but I trust and believe that when I am able to bring something to the table in a relationship, she will be there. I cannot fully provide everything my son needs at the moment, but it’s just that…a moment. And I am in that moment, providing him with everything I can. My car is not the best, I would love another one, but I can’t afford it. I am ok with that, because I have a car. When I am to have another one, I will.
I often fall short of this ideal also. I can create so much turmoil in my life, and do so often. I do cause harm to my brothers and sisters. I just do it less and less as time goes on. I do this, I slip…and I pick myself up, or if I am too crippled to do so, I ask Him to pick me up. And it works.
All things of this world are temporary. Some people even believe death is temporary. I can promise you though, if you can find the love of G-d, and you will if you search, you can hold on to the only beautifully permanent thing out there. Call it peace. Call it centeredness. Call it love. Call it whatever you want, but search for it. Everyday…please.